Great gatsby, it's the internet!

One of the things I love about the internet is its ability to save information for what seems like forever.  Go ahead, look at the dates of my other posts.  For over four years everything I have written in the past has been saved by Google.  My fears of the internet age - the age without letters and where everything is done on computers - were that we would lose valuable data and keepsakes that were a part of past generations.  Perhaps that concern was short sighted.

Sadly, four years have passed and there is still a constant struggle with God.  I have lived long enough to survive the devastation of a broken heart, failed miserably in ministry and business, been humbled and weakened, seen my faith saved by twins who will never know how God used them - and yet I find my heart is still more closely related to the heart of Saul than it is David.

Like millions who have come before me I am quick to stop praising God for his greatness and begin to ask, "What have you done for me lately?".  My success is a result of my greatness, but my failure is from God.

Who knows how long I will continue to update this blog this time around - but I hope it is a consistent outpouring of my heart as I try to seek God's face.  Following a blog like this is kind of a weird thing.  You might run into the occasional TMI, and perhaps some posts will reference the word "I" too frequently - but my hope is that writing out my struggles will help me learn how to love God the way David did.  Maybe it will inspire you some too.

Things change fast

Wow. It has been just under a month since my last post and what an unexpected turn.

As usual, God gently called me closer to his side and as I have re-learned to trust in him He has provided another ministry opportunity that I can't wait to be a part of! Starting 9/4 I will be on staff at San Antonio Youth For Christ.

Your prayers for YFC and for me are greatly appreciated.

I wish I could live a life like Paul: Chained and imprisioned and persecuted he had enemies that hated him so much that they, out of spite, would preach the message he was preaching JUST so that PAUL would be persecuted more. I would of been ticked; but Paul simply praised God that his message was being taught, even if it was motivated by a desire to harm him. He just shrugged it off... "oh well, if I die its better for me; but if they don't kill me I can keep on preaching the message". (Phil 1)

I don't have that kind of faith... yet. Perhaps one day.

What a difference just a few months make. I have learned that it is much easier to stay excited about struggling and finding God when you are in an exciting and uplifting time. Since December I have run into some resistence in many forms.

I now find that my job as a General Manager, while at times enjoyable, is more of a trap I set for myself than it is an opportunity. I work endless hours, suffer countless late nights and headaches and I have almost nothing to show for it.

I am also single again. The world has a slightly different tint to it right after a relationship. It has been a few months since me and my girlfriend broke up and I find myself wondering how long it takes to move on. The "experts" claim it takes, on average, 1/2 the amount of time you spent with a person. I might only be 22 but I just don't feel like I have 2 years. Part of me is convinced she did the right thing. Part of me hopes one day our paths will cross again. None of me understands why things can be so difficult.

Logically I know this is an opportunity. This is the position I have been waiting for; the chance to fully rely on God and see another side of His glory. I want to see God show up in a big way; and I know he is willing and ready too...

but I have to wonder:

Why do I pray for a chance to suffer so that I can see God, then when I find myself suffering I only push him away?


It is easy to pray for suffering when all is well...

Some new things

Some new things are brewing in my life. I am excited about what God has planned.

In the book of James we are reminded that "Blessed is the man who perseveres through trials as he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him"

I can't wait to have the opportunity to have to fully rely on God; to be led by God into a situation that doesn't make sense and is nerve racking. I can't wait until I have the opporunity to struggle for a bit, just to see the Glory of God in the end. I want to perserve through the curves life throws at me so that I can enjoy the crown of life.

I am excited about new opportunities that are ahead.

Think about it

Are you really following Christ? Or are you following the idea of Christ?

Who cares if you do all the right things, but for the wrong reasons. God wants you to serve him with JOY and LOVE; not out of obligation.

Scientists find ‘Goliath’ inscribed on pottery

The associated press reports on MSN.COM that Scientists find ‘Goliath’ inscribed on pottery. Some say this discovery lends credence to the biblical account of David and Goliath, a story that many scientists and historians had before considered only myth.

You can read the full article here:
Scientists find ‘Goliath’ inscribed on pottery

Qatar opens doors to first church in 14 centuries - Yahoo! News

Yahoo News posted a story about Qatar opening the doors to the first Christian church in 1400 years! It will be interesting to see the response of the primarily Islamic population.

Qatar opens doors to first church in 14 centuries - Yahoo! News

Its Up to God

All Christians are called to ministry. This is an over-used, but very true, statement. Sure, you may not be called to vocational ministry; but perhaps you are made to minister as a chef, or poet or actor or teacher or doctor... Whatever passion God has given you, whatever profession you have found yourself in, be it a lawyer or a pizza delivery man/woman, you are called to ministry.

What does it mean to minister? There are books upon books and have been sermons and conferences and study guides written to answer that question. Perhaps we are making something more difficult than it really is...

Mark 4:26-29 says:

The kingdom of God is like someone who spreads seeds on the ground. He goes
to sleep and gets up night and day and the seed sprouts and grows though he does
not know how. by itself the soil produces a crop, first the stalk, then
the head, then the full grain in the head. And when the grain is ripe, he
sends in the sickle because the harvest has come. (NET)

Jesus also reminds us that "No one comes to the Father except through me". God is the only being with the power to work a transforming work in the heart of another. Our job and duty and calling is to glorify God in all that we do. Worship him with all our heart, soul and mind. If we do this we will be planting the seeds that only God can grow; and when the time comes for the harvest, God will lead the way.

Stop worrying about "converting" your neighbor and focus on making your everyday life a worshipful life that brings Glory to the one true God.